i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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