Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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