i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize