none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
