R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
