At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize