he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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