I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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