We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
