Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
