Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
