I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
