I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think my mom watched the whole time
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
