life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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