Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
