Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
