yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
