Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
