NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
