So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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