I just cut my nipple shaving
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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