she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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