doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
