I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
