i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
