i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
