If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
