I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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