Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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