i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
