Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
