If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize