I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
