This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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