He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
accomplished twins. life is a go
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
