So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
