why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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