In the future we'll all be gay
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
His hands were made for my vagina.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
