i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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