we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
