I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
