Got a toothbrush?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
