The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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