And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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