They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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