Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
