omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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