I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
