You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize