we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
