It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize