Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
