i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
