My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
