Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
