were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize