I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
