Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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