PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize