Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize