He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize