Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
