if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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