You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
