covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
