Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You need a sexual gate keeper
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
